Louis' Elevator Story - Peeling the Onion

I loved this article by Charles Legalos, President of Critical Contacts, so much that I immediately asked him if I could share it with you. It's one of the best examples I've seen of how to transform an unwieldy "elevator speech" into a powerful, customer-enticing value proposition.  Believe me, I've met way too many Louis in my life!

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What Louis said…

We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their servers often do not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more ram and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-task and also deliver the resource that the client needs.

What Louis could’ve/should’ve said…

We are computer techs. Recently, we reduced operating costs by $47,000 a year for one of our client’s by making some simple changes to their computer system.

This is how we helped him get from what he said to what he wanted to say…

Step 1: Removed all technical terms (Green type)

We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their server often does not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more RAM and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-tasks and also deliver the resource that the client needs.

Step 2: Removed big and/or abstract words (underlined green type)

We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their server often does not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more RAM and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-tasks and also deliver the resource that the client needs.

Step 3: Removed adjectives & adverbs (blue type)

We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their server often does not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more RAM and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-tasks and also deliver the resource that the client needs.

Step 4: Removed "fillers" (gray type)

We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their server often does not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more RAM and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-tasks and also deliver the resource that the client needs.

Step 5: Removed descriptions of HOW you do what you do (yellow type)

We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their server often does not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more RAM and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-tasks and also deliver the resource that the client needs.

Step 6: Reviewed the words the listener understood ...

We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server  set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their server often does not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a ully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more   and a lot more  so that the machine is well equipped to handle   and also                that the client needs.

Step 7: Called the client and asked how he helped!

The client told Louis that thanks to the better computer system, he was able to free up one full-time administrative assistant to respond to customer service calls.

Final Note from Jill: If you're like Louise and struggling to articulate your business value, check out my upcoming teleseminar, Crafting a Powerful, Customer-Enticing Value Proposition.

**For more info on Charles Legalos, visit Critical Contacts, Inc. where "Networking is a contact sport!"

Comments

[steve]

I especially like that the opening line is plain no-nonsense and understandable. "We are computer techs". No silly hiding behind big words like consultants, IT Professionals. And yet the benefit (saved $47,000) gets through loud and clear, plus it makes you want to "ask" for more, not try to hide because he is droning on and on...

[Mary Hunt]

Wow, a pitch and a branding proposition all in one. What a terrific way to help yourself or someone else focus. Thanks for the post!

[John Veiga]

Jill,

Great example! I like the way the elevator speech was dissected into its core elements.

I have a follow up some thoughts.

A former client once gave me this advice, tell your story in 27 words, 9 seconds or less, and have 3 points. This is the model used bya ll modern communicators my client admonished me.

I tried it on future sales calls and it revolutionized my productivity and confidence. Prior to this advise I was wrapped up in all the technology babble.
I've used this in job-hunting and other areas as well.

I took a shot at how this might play out with your example. Here it goes..
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I’m with (CompanyX), a network and computer engineering firm. We help companies better manage all their email and networking resources, saving clients at least 30% a year.

Then ask a transition question, “What problems seem to occur regularly with your email systems?” If he/she answers,

Then go into how you do things….email servers, the database, the RAM, processors..etc..technology babble.

In the first 9 seconds you've got to catch this person's attention..if not, they will probably not listen for the next 30 to 60 seconds.

Just some thoughts.

[Michael Goodman]

Cool! And at the end it boiled down to what the customer said Louis did for him. One of the "techniques" I use to build a value proposition with clients is to ask why the last 10 customers purchased from them. Typically that clarifies what they do pretty quickly and simply.

Thanks again Jill.
Michael Goodman
www.salessquawk.com