I loved this article by Charles Legalos, President of Critical Contacts, so much that I immediately asked him if I could share it with you. It's one of the best examples I've seen of how to transform an unwieldy "elevator speech" into a powerful, customer-enticing value proposition. Believe me, I've met way too many Louis in my life!
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What Louis said…
We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their servers often do not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more ram and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-task and also deliver the resource that the client needs.
What Louis could’ve/should’ve said…
We are computer techs. Recently, we reduced operating costs by $47,000 a year for one of our client’s by making some simple changes to their computer system.
This is how we helped him get from what he said to what he wanted to say…
Step 1: Removed all technical terms (Green type)
We help clients assess their infrastructure to help them deploy a more robust network environment so that they can be productive in their business. So what we do is assess how their email server is set up and also their database environment in regards of one server managing email, exchange server, managing their file sharing, managing their print sharing, managing their overall entire network. Unfortunately, their server often does not have the right processor or memory allocated for the purpose of what the client requires. So what we do is design a fully-deployed domain control with active directory so that the client can handle the amount of traffic they need for their business. So what we do is prepare a new server with a lot more RAM and a lot more processor speed so that the machine is well equipped to handle multi-tasks and also deliver the resource that the client needs.
Step 2: Removed big and/or abstract words (underlined green type)
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