The Power of Silence

If you're like most sellers, silence drives you crazy. When you're talking with a prospective customer and there's a brief lull in the discussion, I bet you jump right in to fill it.

Am I right? Research shows that the average salesperson, after asking a question, waits no more than 2-3 seconds before rephrasing the question, answering it themselves or moving on to another topic.

And my experience shows that normal sellers have NO idea that they're doing this.

Let me ask you a question: What is the one single thing that you or your company could do in the upcoming 12 months that would dramatically impact your sales?

(one thousand one ... one thousand two .. one thousand three)

I mean, if you really thought about it, what's causing you the most trouble in your sales efforts?

(one thousand one ... one thousand two ... one thousand three)

I've been studying a lot about the challenges that salespeople are struggling with these days. They're really having trouble getting their foot in the door of big companies. Once they're in, it's really difficult to get people to change from the status quo. And, because of today's business climate, corporate decision makers are so risk averse.

Are you finding that to be the case? Which of those issues are causing you the most frustration?

(one thousand one ... one thousand two ... one thousand three)

Have you thought about how you could make it easier for you? I mean, like what kinds of marketing initiatives you could undertake?

(one thousand one ... one thousand two ... one thousand three)

Okay. I'll stop now. Hopefully you got my point about the continual rephrasing and butting in that sellers do after they ask a question.

(For those of you who aren't familiar with "one thousand one ..." phrases, that's how we in America are taught to count off a second of time. Each one thousand is another second.)

What I really wanted to point out is what was lost because of the lack of silence.

Here's the 1st question again: "What is the one single thing that you or your company could do in the upcoming 12 months that would dramatically impact your sales?"

That's a provocative question. Decision makers can't answer it with a simple pat answer.

It makes them stop and think, "Hmmmm. What would that one thing be? New offerings? More calls? Additional money in our marketing budget? Which would have the most impact?"

That's what you want them to do. Then when they answer you'll learn a whole lot about what's going on in their organization, what the big challenges are, the decision maker's perspective on the issues and solutions and so much more.

But they can't think of all that in just two or three seconds.

They need much longer to ponder the question, to play around with it in their mind and to sort through their options.

In fact, research shows they need 8-10 seconds to formulate the start of their answer. And once they get talking, they think of more ideas.

When you cut them off at only 2-3 seconds, you lose in more ways than you can imagine.

• You don't get the benefit of your good question. You never learn all the good stuff they could be telling you if you'd just kept your mouth shut a little longer.

• When you don't learn all this info, it's so much harder to sell anything because you don't know how your offering can make the biggest difference to your customer.

• Besides that, your customer thinks that you're self-serving and only interested in achieving your own objectives. (Isn't that what you think when people keep cutting you off?)

• You don't establish a positive relationship with the person, so they really don't want to meet with you again.

And all this happens because you don't know how to count beyond three.

The value of silence in selling is rarely talked about. Mostly people focus on what they're going to say.

Instead, I suggest that you try a bit more silence. Ask a question, lean back and start counting to yourself. Start at one thousand one and keep right on going.

If you hit one thousand ten and still don't have a response, then you can rephrase or interject something. But not before.

At first you'll be absolutely miserable doing this. (This is the voice of experience talking!) Nothing will seem harder. You'll be squirming and dying to jump in.

Don't do it! Keep counting silently to yourself.

Your prospective customers will start talking. You'll learn a whole lot more. You'll strengthen your relationships. They'll think you're smarter, more credible and more caring.

Silence is truly golden. Give it a try!

Comments

[Babette Black Burdick]

Jill,

Take this from a former market research moderator. In the trade we call it the "pregnant pause." You know, you ask the question and just plain stop right there. Respondents have "fear of dead air" which is not very profitable if you are in radio. We've all been brought up that this is a no-no.

The pregnant pause also includes your prospect's finally responding to this initial void (after you at least count to one thousand one) at which point you counter with another pregnant pause, except this time you make some sort of response like "Hmmm" or "huh", etc. They've gotta jump right in and fill that void with even more good information. It's one of the most powerful tools for building rapport either in person or over the phone. But it's a tough skill to acquire.

And I suspect that some prospects are aware of how to use "the void" and actually use the seller's fear of silence (and jumping right in with oral diarrhea) as a means of flushing out the second tier rep and giving them a "we are not interested" response.

B

[campsean]

Absolutely spot on. One of the best quotes I heard related to this is "Whoever speaks first looses."

Everytime I am tempted to open my mouth after proposing a question I think of this. :)

The truth is though that it can be exceptionally hard for new sales people to pick this up because the gift for gab that they had (which becomes detrimental for sales people as they advance) is one of the reason they were "told" that they would "good" at sales.

[Fred Barnes]

Silence is VERY hard for salespeople. I coach salespeople to give great sales presentations. One of the primary ways a salesperson can increase their credibility with any audience is by learning to use the power of the pause.

As I work with salespeople (on camera)... and get them to lower the pace of their speaking, and add 2, 3, even 4-second pauses (to let the audience think), it is remarkable how much more believable they become.

It also allows the salesperson time (during the pause), to do some thinking -- and maybe some adjusting of their presentation. If you are zipping along at a million miles an hour, this will never happen. Pause, Pause, Pause... it is one of the keys to successful connection with your audience!

[Jim Janosik]

Two ears, one mouth. Listen twice as much as you speak.

It's even better when you ask questions where the prospect can "educate" you about her industry or experiences. As a young professional I take this approach because people have an innate urge to teach and share information with someone that might still be a little green (though they really aren't).

[Troy Bingham - Power Dialer]

I am reminded of a sales call several years ago, when I had given the proposed amount of the deal, there was silence. I knew the old addage of "he who speaks first loses" so I stayed silent. 45 minutes later, the prospect asked..."so, what do you suggest I do". I had won. No one would have believed it but I happened to catch the whole thing on tape. I used it for trainin purposes for years.

[Kent Blumberg]

Jill,

Great article! I am working on a speech about the Power of Silence for my Toastmasters group and found your article. It is a brilliant summary of what is wrong with many sales approaches, and how to make it right.

Kent

[Sarah Lee Beaven]

Hi Jill,
I love this post and agree with the other readers' comments. You ARE spot on!
Having spent years as a sales consultant, I was definitely nervous with the silence as I was honing my skills...nervous chatter all over the place. It was a painful journey to finally learn how to stop fidgeting verbally.
The lesson was really brought home when I took acting classes that I learned first hand about the value and impact of silence. I aced an audition by remaining silent for 2 minutes before delivering my last line. The director told me he was spellbound and delighted because it showed a calm confidence that he was looking for in an actor. I believe our customers want the same in a consultant...calm confidence.
Once I experienced that, silence became easy and got more and more comfortable because I realized that the person I was talking to needed time to let the words "land" and have time to respond.

Another tip that evolved: Tell the person you are talking to that you are going to give them a minute or so to think about the question...thereby setting the stage for silence.

For example: "What's important to you?" followed with:
"Take your time."
I remain silent and relaxed as I hold the space for them to think.

My hat is off to Troy for the 45 minute silence. Amazing!