Jill Konrath | Selling to Big Companies

Winners of the Sales Limerick Challenge

With over 70 limericks entered in the contest, it was a real challenge to pick the winners. Of course, it was entirely subjective too. 

What criteria did I use? They had to be in actual limerick format (which some weren't). Also, I picked the ones that made me laugh the most or were really clever. And it was really hard to decide. 

Also, I expanded the numbers of winner to six: 5 in the sales category and 1 in the pandering category -- meaning they wrote about me. Enjoy!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the winners of the 2011 Sales Limerick Challenge. 

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A salesmen is quick with his tongue
For on quotas his incentives are hung.
And if his mouth isn't telling
A story compelling
His stomach's slow groans will be sung.

-John Kearney, Pennsylvania
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There once was a sales guy named Rudy
who sold a bit like "Judge Judy."
He'd stick to the facts
and keep things on track
But now he can't spend all his "booty."

-Bob McIntyre
______________

There once was a sales guy named Jude
Who was a road warrior dude.
Then along came the phone
And he now lies prone
Selling high tech to those who he wooed.

-Trish Bertuzzi, Massachusetts 

______________

A sales rep known from afar
Loved taking prospects to the bar.
His spiel he'd deliver
Like the pints to his liver,
Which sadly now rests in a jar.

-Tyler Wirth, Minnesota
______________

There once was sales rep not selling
And tears in his eyes were welling.
He snapped up your book
And took a quick look
And now his sales figures are swelling.

-Dave Jordan, Romania

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There once was a gal from Nantucket
Whose sales were down deep in the bucket.
She had value to sell
But could not do it well
And with each click of the phone she said, "Shuck it."

—Scott Byorum, California

Aren't they fun! Now, which one did you like best? Here are the link to all of them: http://bit.ly/m8iI9v

The Limerick Challenge

Click here to read the winning sales limericks.

 

A few weeks ago I went to Ireland to speak to a group of entrepreneurs. While there, I was inspired me to write some limericks, an Irish form of nonsensical poetry.

 

They were so fun to create, that I decided to sponsor the ...

• TO ENTER: Create your own SALES limerick & share it below. 
• WINNERS: The top three limerick writers get an autographed copy of my book, SNAP Selling.

Here are my attempts! I hope you enjoy them.

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There once was a sales guy named Jack
Who just loved to yakkety yak.
He made customers itch
When he delivered his pitch
Then wondered why no one called back.

_________________

There once was a lady named Bella
Who was trying to sell to this fella.
When they finally did meet,
She didn't miss a beat
'Fore she put him through PowerPoint hella.

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There once was a man name Peter
Who wanted to buy a new heater.
But he was so appalled
When the sales lady called
Without thinking, he quickly delete her.

 

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SUBMIT YOUR SALES LIMERICK BELOW

 Remember, limericks always have five lines and
their rhyming scheme is aabba.